Trump

Silver Linings Playbook: Trumped-Up Edition

With the 1st pick in the 2016 POTUS Draft, the American Americans select Donald John Trump. Folks, this is unlike anything this country has seen before. Remember that film Idiocracy? Neither do I. It is a fairly terrible movie minus Justin Long. Get out your last YAS QUEEN’s and DRAG HIM’s because the horrific straight white male is back to terrorize the land. Donald Trump is going to be president now and there’s nothing you can do to stop it. Is there anything positive here? (more…)

Last Call for a Presidential Candidate

Donald Trump, The Orange Man, is going to represent the Republican party of the United States government. Hillary Clinton, The Human Flip-Flop, will stand as the candidate of the Democratic party. Now I know what you’re thinking, we’re screwed. What if I said we still have a chance? Now that I have your attention: let’s get political. (more…)

Alex Jones and His Beliebers are Mentally Ill

In February I was discussing the primaries with a few coworkers, and one of them told me I should check out Infowars, with an emphasis on Alex Jones. I had never heard of this website or anybody named Alex Jones, so I told her I’d do my homework. When I went home, I typed in Alex Jones on YouTube and was lucky enough that his most recent video was about Trump exposing 9/11. I knew I was in for a treat, but there was no way I could’ve prepared myself for what I was about to see. (more…)

You are Being Duped by Capitalism

Do you like monopolies controlling prices and markets? Are you okay with paying lots of money for a mediocre Product? Do you think this is a game? I’m not mad at you. But listen, Listerine is a tyrannical empire with a stranglehold on the mouthwash market. Don’t read further if you are fine being a SHEEP (sheep sounds weird when it’s singular). (more…)

Dawn of a New Age

Folks, this is Max here, typing live, in the middle of a renaissance. As the title suggests, we’re experiencing the Dawn of a New Age. That Age, ladies and germs, is the Age of the Cooler-Than-All-Hell Black Spokesman. Let’s dive in. (more…)